It’s hard to believe it’s been two years since I was diagnosed yet I’m still living in cancer limbo. I’m sorry I left you hanging after my ultrasound but I’ve just been circling the wagon with vague results. The reason they even ordered the ultrasound is b/c it can see fluid better than an MRI but the local radiologist said they believe the seroma is actually scar tissue. Since no one seems to know what’s what, now we’re on our way to Stanford for another MRI and checkup with my plastic surgeon.

Considering how often these things are dismissed, I’m always thankful my doctors are more thorough than not but I’m also tired of another part of this terrifying and stressful experience being drawn out for months on end. The good news is, my lymph nodes seem less pissed than before and hopefully the follow-up MRI will show even more improvement. Depending on my test results, hopefully we can do my revision surgery within the next few months and I can finally put this nightmare behind me as much as possible.

Other than that, I recently finished a 5-week post-treatment WellFit exercise program, which I loved. The trainer was awesome and she helped me create some home workout routines specifically targeted for recurrence prevention. Brandon even got to join me for some sessions, which was special too.

I’m also still working at the horse ranch, which is a mixed bag at this point. I really enjoy all time outdoors working with the horses but the Gator is still broken and the intense labor is running my body into the ground. I have no problem working hard as I have been but it’s absurd to be injuring myself when I’m not done healing and have another surgery left so we’ll see how that shakes out.

Overall, I’m doing okay but it’s exhausting being in such debilitating pain all the time. B/w the estrogen blockers, ranch work, and fitness regimen, everything hurts and most weekends, I can barely move or use my hands. In many ways, I feel like my body doesn’t even belong to me anymore and there’s so much to be cautious about to keep the cancer from coming back. I miss feeling healthy and youthful but I haven’t given up hope that I’ll be thriving again soon.

Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and I’ll be in touch when there’s more to share.

Love,

Linz