Today is the first Mother's Day without Benji. It's a day that I had hoped would be filled with joy, celebrating motherhood with my beautiful Evie by my side. But instead, my heart is heavy with grief, and I can't shake this overwhelming sadness. I feel guilty for feeling this way when I have Evie, my precious ray of sunshine, my miracle , right next to me.

I managed to put on a brave face this morning and hosted brunch for my parents, but every smile felt forced, every laugh hollow. Evie and Ilan showered me with cards and presents, their love tangible and sincere, but it's just too much to bear. My grief for Benji is so overwhelming and I can't seem to lift my head from the pillow.

I long for the days when Benji was safe and sound with me, his presence a comforting warmth that I never took for granted. It feels unjust, unfair that he was taken from us so soon. Today, amidst the Mother's Day celebrations, I find myself yearning for him, wishing for just one more moment with my angel baby.

The pain in my heart is unbearable, and I can't help but wonder how I'll navigate this new reality without him. But for now, all I can do is hold onto the memories of Benji and find solace in the love of my family, even as I struggle to make sense of this profound loss.

My heart goes out to all the moms that are having a hard Mother's Day. We are the best people stuck in the worst club imaginable ❤️‍🩹